Finding Love
by Most Evil Overlord
Summary: (A/L-slash) Aragorn is blaming himself for lots of things and Legolas tries to figure out what they are.. revised and REPOSTED!
1. When the sun rise

---Finding Love, chapter One---  
  
Rating: PG  
Chapter: 1/2   
  
Warnings: This is S*L*A*S*H Ladies and Gentlemen, which means male/male relationships. If you're uncomfortable with this, don't read. If you read anyway, then it is your own fault. Don't say I didn't warn you! Spoiler warnings for FotR, tTT and RotK.   
  
Disclaimer: No, I do not own these characters or anything that has anything to do with LotR. Just borrowing..   
  
I would like to thank my beta-readers **Eruantale** and **Golden wolf** for betaing this one. Thoughts are in --. The song is Celine Dion's "Tell him". Don't own that either...   
  
-------------------------------   
  
  
  


**-Legolas-**

  
  
He's standing there, unconscious of tall and proud he is, like a king. He is watching the sunrise. Or so it seems. He has been standing there all night. I know there is something wrong.   
  
---  
I'm scared  
so afraid to show I care  
Will he thinks me weak  
If I tremble when I speak  
---   
  
I don't know if he sensed me, but as I'm approaching, he slowly turns towards me. The sun has blinded his beautiful grey eyes so he does not seem to recognize me.   
  
"Legolas, is that you?" He asks.   
  
"Aye, 'tis I, Estel," I answer. Our eyes lock for a while before I continue. "Is something wrong?"   
  
He once again turns his gaze to the sunrise and sighs. "No. Nothing is wrong."   
  
I can easily tell he is lying. I have known him almost his entire life... and I have loved him equally as long.   
  
---  
Oooh - what if  
there's another one he's thinking of  
Maybe he's in love  
I'd feel like a fool  
Life can be so cruel  
I don't know what to do  
---   
  
Though I know this will hurt, I put my hand on his shoulder. I was right. As if lightning just struck me, a wave of sadness fills my heart... but also a wave of joy. Joy over the touch. Sadness over the fact that we can never be. He once again locks eyes with me waiting for me to speak, like he know I will.   
  
"Estel, I have known you ever since you were a child. What ails you friend?" Friend. -Friend?-   
  


**-Aragorn-**

  
  
Sunset and sunrise. These I have seen tonight without even noticing. Without closing my weary eyes for a second. Too many things are on my mind this evening. Gandalf disappearing in the mines of Moria, Boromir's death, Merry's and Pippin's kidnapping... and then there is Arwen. I failed her. As I have failed everyone else. Am I really the right to lead the fellowship? Obviously not, considering the turn of events.   
  
The sound of someone approaching snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn around, slowly, hand on my sword hilt. I then realise I must have been staring right into the sun for I cannot see who the figure is standing in front of me.   
  
"Legolas, is that you?" I ask, using the elvish tongue.   
  
"Aye, 'tis I Estel, is something wrong?" he asks in turn.   
  
-Is something wrong? Everything is wrong, my lo- no, friend. I have promised myself to Arwen.- I turn my gaze back to the sun and sigh. "No. Nothing is wrong."   
  
He sees right through the lie. He always does. He raises his hand and rests it on my shoulder.   
  
"Estel, I have known you ever since you were a child. What ails you friend?"   
  
---  
I've been there  
with my heart out in my hand  
But what you must understand  
you can't let the chance  
to love him pass you by  
---   
  
I look at him, remaining silent, not knowing what to say.   
  
"Estel. Tell me. I am your friend."   
  
"I know, and I will be forever grateful for that." At this Legolas smiles and waits for me to continue.   
  
"I was not the one to lead the fellowship." I whisper turning my eyes back to the sun.   
  
"Why would you say such a thing?!" Obviously, that was not the answer he expected.   
  
"Everything has gone wrong, Legolas. Everything. Gandalf is gone..."   
  
"That was not your fault. You know that. No one is saying that you are to blame" Legolas says.   
  


**-Legolas-**

  
  
My mind refuses to believe my ears. -This cannot be- is all I have time to think before he continues.   
  
"But what of Boromir? And the hobbits? They would not have been gone, had you been leading us." He now looks at me, his eyes pained and filled with grief.   
  
"Aragorn," I say, using the name given to him at birth. "Stop this."   
  
He shifts, but keeps his eyes to the sun. I cup my hand around his chin to force him to look me in the eyes, ignoring the bolts of lightning coursing through my heart. When he does, I continue.   
  
"Stop doing this to yourself. Nothing of what has happened is your fault. You could not possibly save the hobbits. The orcs were too many. As for Boromir, even the Lady Galadriel foresaw his fall. Had you stopped him now, he would sooner or later have yielded to the Ring. It was inevitable."   
  
I then realise that I still have my hand cupped around his chin, so I slowly let it fall to my side.   
  
"You are right, my friend. As always," Aragorn says. "Thank you."   
  
"I was glad I could help. But something more is troubling you, I can tell."   
  


**-Aragorn-**

  
  
I thought that telling him about my doubts would hinder him from seeing what lies deeper in my heart, stabbing and punching. I go back to being silent, hoping he will let the matter drop.   
  
"Aragorn," he says again. I really like the way he says my name... my birth name. "Friends confide in each other, do they not?" He looks hurt. And I do not want him hurt.   
  
"They do, Legolas. We do." I answer. -How will I put this in words- I briefly wonder, before continuing "I..." I cannot finish what I was about to say.   
  
"Yes?" Legolas encourages me.   
  
"I fear I have failed Arwen," I blurt out. -There, now it has been said- I think bitterly -There is no going back now-.   
  
Legolas looks like he has seen a ghost, and had the situation not been so serious, I would laugh. But I cannot. Not now.   
  
"You fear you have failed the Lady Arwen." He says slowly. "Why is this?"   
  
I knew that question would come. -Be a man or a coward- I tell myself. Too much is at stake to gamble with. What would he say if he knew? -There is only one way to find out- I decide.   
  
"I have fallen in love with someone else."   
  
---  
Tell him  
Tell him that the sun and moon  
rise in his eyes  
Reach out to him  
And whisper  
Tender words so soft and sweet  
Hold him close to feel his heart beat  
Love will be the gift you give yourself  
---   
  
T.B.C. 


	2. Love

---Finding Love, chapter Two---  
  
Rating: PG  
Chapter: 2/2   
  
Warnings: This is S*L*A*S*H Ladies and Gentlemen, which means male/male relationships. If you're uncomfortable with this, don't read. If you read anyway, then it is your own fault. Don't say I didn't warn you! Spoiler warnings for FotR, tTT and RotK.   
  
Disclaimer: No, I do not own these characters or anything that has anything to do with LotR. Just borrowing..   
  
I would like to thank my beta-readers **Eruantale** and **Golden wolf** for betaing this one. Thoughts are in --. The song is Celine Dion's "Tell him". Don't own that either...   
  
-------------------------------   
  
  
  


**-Legolas-**

  
  
"What?" I ask. I am starting to believe that there is something wrong with my ears. Seriously wrong. He has fallen in love with yet another girl. I wonder how much longer I will be able to take this. Him falling in love with Arwen hurt me more than anyone can even begin to imagine, and now, he has fallen in love again.   
  
"I do not love Arwen anymore." Aragorn says quietly. "That is why I have failed her. She has offered her immortality to me, but what do I do? I fall in love with someone else."   
  
-Is he honestly saying this?- I wonder before I, once again, cup my hand around his chin, and those beautiful stormy eyes gazes at me. -I really have to stop doing this. Lest I will lose myself and he will know.-   
  
---  
Touch him   
With the gentleness you feel inside  
Your love can't be denied  
The truth will set you free  
You'll have what's mean to be   
All in time you'll see  
---   
  
I don't know if he sensed me, but as I'm approaching, he slowly turns towards me. The sun has blinded his beautiful grey eyes so he does not seem to recognize me.   
  
"Legolas, is that you?" He asks.   
  
"Aye, 'tis I, Estel," I answer. Our eyes lock for a while before I continue. "Is something wrong?"   
  
He once again turns his gaze to the sunrise and sighs. "No. Nothing is wrong."   
  
I can easily tell he is lying. I have known him almost his entire life... and I have loved him equally as long.   
  
---  
Oooh - what if  
there's another one he's thinking of  
Maybe he's in love  
I'd feel like a fool  
Life can be so cruel  
I don't know what to do  
---   
  
"Aragorn," I say. I like saying that name. I wonder why I never used it before. "You have not failed the Lady Arwen. Nor will you. Failing her will be staying with her when your heart lies elsewhere. You cannot decide where your heart should rest. None can. Our heart makes the choice for us, we can do nothing about it. Look at me, I did not choose to fall in love with... with... The one I love. My heart did. And I cannot stop my heart. I will not."   
  
-Oops-   
  
Aragorn says nothing. He just keeps his eyes locked with mine. But suddenly, he must have realised what I said, for his eyes narrows ever so slightly and he looks harder as if searching for an answer to something.   
  


**-Aragorn-**

  
  
"Aragorn," he says. "You have not failed the Lady Arwen. Nor will you. Failing her will be staying with her when your heart lies elsewhere. You cannot decide where your heart should rest. None can. Our hearts make the choices for us, we can do nothing about it. Look at me, I did not choose to fall in love with... with... the one I love. My heart did. And I cannot stop my heart. I will not."   
  
-Oh, those eyes... What? Wait a minute. What did he say? Is he in love?!- I realise what he said and I search for a name in those enchanting eyes. I cannot find one so I just have to ask.   
  
"You are in love?"   
  
His hand leaves my chin, and I start to miss it right away. His eyes fill with pain and grief and I regret having asked the question, but I have to know.   
  
"Yes." He answers, his voice being barely a whisper. "I love someone and my love will never be returned."   
  
He will never have his love? Who can this bastard be who refuses to return the love from one as enchanting as Legolas?   
  
"Who is she?" I ask a bit harshly.   
  
"It is not a she."   
  


**-Legolas-**

  
  
-Great, you stupid elf. Another word and he will know. Composure. Calm down. Right.-   
  
"But my feelings are beside the point right now. The point is, she will not hate you. She would hate you if you stayed now." I continue, cutting of his every chance to dig deeper into my heart. If he finds out, I will lose him. And I'd rather have his friendship than nothing at all.   
  
Aragorn seems to get the hint so he smiles weakly. "You are right, as always, you are right."   
  
"Come, you need to rest. We must continue soon. The sun is almost up..." I turn around and am just about to take my first step, when I feel his hand on my shoulder.   
  
"Wait. There is something I must say."   
  
He turns me so that I am facing him. I can literally se him gathering courage to say the next words, and I wonder so what they are.   
  
"Never mind. You are right, I must get some rest.'   
  
"Are you sure?" I ask. Whatever it was he was going to say, will I ever know?   
  
"Yes, let us get some rest before we continue, we have been wasting too much time already." And with those words he returns to the fire, or the ashes rather, and lies down on his blanket. I sigh before I too, head for the blankets.   
  
---  
I love him  
Of that much I can be sure  
I don't think I could endure  
If I let him walk away  
When I have so much to say  
---

  
  


**-Aragorn-**

  
  
I cannot sleep. Not with him lying two feet away. I do not think he is sleeping either, he sighed just a minute ago. I try to count the stars, which usually makes me sleepy. But I only count to thirty before the silence is broken.   
  
"Estel?"   
He is using my elvish name again. "Aragorn," I sigh, "call me Aragorn. That is my true name. Now what were you going to ask?'   
  
"Aragorn," he corrects himself, "what was it you were going to tell me earlier?'   
  
I close my eyes. -Let me go to sleep, before I ruin everything!-   
  
"Really, Legolas. It was nothing."   
  
Now I hear him getting up. -He is not coming over here, he is not coming over here!- I silently plead, but the gods are probably sleeping for a few seconds later, he crouches next to me. I sit up and gestures for him to sit down. He does so and turns his beautiful eyes towards me.   
  
"Aragorn," he says. "It must be something, or you would be sleeping by now'   
  
My eyes roam over his body. -By Elbereth, he is without his shirt!!- I quickly avert my gaze to the ashes from the fire. "You are cold," I whisper so quietly I am surprised that even he heard my words. I open my blanket to so he can crawl in to the heat.   
  
Even though I my eyes are elsewhere, I know he smiles "You of all men should know that elves do not experience cold." He seems to think for a second but then he apparently decided to take me up on my offer. He crawls in and sits down in front of me. That way, I can close the blankets around us, shutting out the cold. It feels so right to have him in my arms like this. He then continues: "And, you are changing the subject."   
  
-This is so hard. How can I possibly tell my best friend, an elf, that I love him? More to the point, how can I do it when the elf in question is in my arms, resting his back on my chest?-   
  
---  
Tell him  
Tell him that the sun and moon  
rise in his eyes  
Reach out to him  
And whisper  
Tender words so soft and sweet  
Hold him close to feel his heart beat  
Love will be the gift you give yourself  
---   
  


**-Legolas-**

  
  
He is holding his arms around me. Not for the reason I want, but still. I am in his arms. It feels so good, so right. I unconsciously snuggle closer to him, and before I even have the chance of stopping myself I whisper the words I promised I would never utter aloud.   
  
"I love you."   
  
Suddenly time stops. It is like everything around us holds their breath... waiting. A million thoughts cross my mind, a million curses for my stupidity, in the few seconds, which to me seems like eternity. Then, slowly I can feel my love shift behind me. I panic, for I think he will move away. I turn around, using all my eleven abilities. But when my eyes meets his, I don't find the hate, anger and loath I thought I would find, but rather relief, joy and.. Love? Somewhere far away, I register his voice.   
  
"Legolas Greenleaf, by Elbereth, I love you too."   
  
No this has to be a dream. He loves me? "But you have fallen in love. You said so."   
  
He laughs and embraces me hardly. It is a free and happy laugh, happier than I have heard him ages.   
  
"Silly. It is you."   
  
Me?   
  
"Me?"   
  
"Yes, you." He says.   
  
It finally sinks in. He loves me. I have the heir of Isildurs love and affection. We lock eyes, but suddenly, I found his lips to be far more interesting, and before I know it, our lips seals in a fiery, loving and passionate kiss. My head is spinning, and my heart is threatening to burst with joy. He loves ME!   
  
---  
Love is light that surely glows  
In the hearts of those who know  
It's a steady flame that grows  
Feed the fire with all the passion you can show  
Tonight love will assume its place  
This memory time cannot erase  
Your faith will lead love where it has to go  
Never let him go  
---   
  
SPLASH!   
  
What?   
  
SPLASH! SPLASH!   
  
What is this moisture? I am kissing Aragorn, the sun is up, the birds are chirping from our joy and he loves me. So where did this-   
  
SPLASH!   
  
-Moisture come from? And why is he shaking me and shouting my name all of a sudden?   
  
"LEGOLAS! The storm is over us, Wake Up!!"   
  
The storm? The storm! I jump up, ready to make a run for a cave not far away. Gimli has already reached it and I am right behind Aragorn, when I suddenly remember. I grab a hold of his sleeve and we stop dead.   
  
"Legolas, what are you doing? We are getting soaking wet! Come on!"   
  
---  
Tell him  
Tell him that the sun and moon  
rise in his eyes  
Reach out to him  
And whisper  
Tender words so soft and sweet  
Hold him close to feel his heart beat  
Love will be the gift you give yourself  
---   
  
"Aragorn," I say calmly.   
  
He calms down, sensing that I am about to say something important.   
  
"Aragorn, son of Arathorn. I love you of all my heart." But right there and then, the rain increases so my words are lost.   
  
"I can't hear you for all the rain. What did you say?" He shouts.   
  
"I love you!"   
  
He shakes his head while pointing to his ears, turns around heads of in the direction of the cave. I once again grab a hold of his sleeve and when he turns around, mouth open in annoyance, I meet him in a kiss, equally fiery and passionate as the one from my dream, only, this is real. I slip my tongue in and he goes tense at first but slowly he relaxes as he adjusts to the sensation of my tongue exploring his mouth. And when I break the kiss, he looks disappointed. I cup his face in my hands and look deep into his eyes. Love and joy is what I see. I then repeat myself.   
  
"I said I love you."   
  
  
The End.   
  



End file.
